There Is No Law Against Feeding Stray Cats
My next door neighbor, as old and maybe as senile as she might be, has this affinity to feeding stray cats. These cats come by the dozen to her backyard every day when feeding time comes around and they freeload on the food she leaves outside. Now that’s all fine and dandy, she wants to feed these stupid homeless felines, that’s her deal, but when they start breeding and the kittens come play on my yard and die on my patio, yes DIE on my patio, then we have a serious fuckin problem here. This morning I woke up and found the third, yes again with the caps I’m tryin to prove a point, the THIRD dead fuckin cat on my patio, something has to be done.
So I called Animal Services Miami and I spoke with an operator. I tell her my situation that a batty ol’ lady is feeding these cats not taking care of them, and their kittens are dying daily on my property. I claim animal cruelty by nature of neglect and she says there’s nothing they can do. I say, “What the fuck?” Her response was albeit, the kittens are dying on my property and leaving very unsanitary conditions behind, it is on private property and on top of that THERE IS NO LAW AGAINST FEEDING STRAY CATS. Hence animal services cannot interfere and an animal cruelty case will have to be closed. The operator said in addition to the fact there is no law, if a case were to be filed and an investigation begins, she can simply state that the cats are not hers, all she does is feed them, and the case will be tossed. Bull spit I say.
I just finished disinfecting and sanitizing my patio by spraying water and washing away the scum of death these kittens left behind with a huge gallon of over the counter Clorox bleach. I let the fucker sit in a good while, and scrubbed the liquid as hard as can into the concrete slab that it my patio floor. I don’t want anymore cats on my property, as cute as those bastards are, I don’t want to “plastic bag” (the procedure one does by inserting their hand into a plastic bag, grabbing a dead animal, in this case a bastard cat, and flipping the bag inside out and bagging said animal without actually touching it) another feline as long as I live. My patio will not be a feline death camp. Right now the smell of bleach is so pungent; I can’t even go out there, which in turns means the bleach will sear off the nose hairs of the damn cats.
In closing let me just say that I am not an insensitive dick. I love cats. In fact I own a cat, OWN a cat and he’s one of the best things that happened to me in the past 8 years. Thus, I don’t want my healthy and slightly overweight, but he’s so cute, cat being infected by these mangy, scruffy, scabby ass kittens from next door. Before these kittens even became sick, I tried to introduce my cat to them and all he did was hiss violently at them, with good reason, I’m sure he smelled death on them. In short, no more dead cats on patio please.
